Friday, October 19, 2012
1. Dexcom Receiver
2. Phone/alarm clock
3. Animas One Touch Ping insulin pump
4. Ping Meter/Remote
5. Fitbit Ultra (crazy cool "more-than-a-pedometer" pedometer)
6. Mp3 player (featuring Audrey Assad).
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
After high school, I applied to a few colleges for Theatre Arts. I have a history of being a middle-child-people-pleaser with a knack for the dramatic - so it seemed like a pretty good fit.
And though my choices (and theirs) lead me to pursue other dreams, I have continued to masquerade.
I have this room, decked out with a treadmill and a total gym, a stability ball and weights, DVDs of popular workouts, and a classic Jane Fonda VHS.
Every wall is dotted by motivational pictures and quotes, and a there is a calendar (ironically, a Pillsbury Bake-off calendar) to log my workouts.
I have completed a half marathon (2 years ago), I have subscriptions to a handful of running newsletters, and I can talk the talk of running lingo (fartlek, anyone?).
I have goals to reach and a neatly typed list with a ton of reasons recounting the numerous mental, emotional, and physical benefits of exercise.
I have performance clothing, sweat-wicking wear, rockin' playlists, and great shoes.
And yet the room sits untouched - sometimes for months at a time.
I know there is an athlete inside of me, but every time I hear her, I tune her out with TV and shut her up with cookies.
For all intents and purposes, I am sitting in my garage, covered in steel and holding a rear-view mirror, making "vroom-vrooom" noises trying to convince myself and everybody else that I am a car. I am not a car.
The inner workings - the drive (pun completely intended), the passion, the activity, the motor - have me stalled.
To have a car without a motor is to be without a vehicle.
I have tried, to no avail, to figure out what stops me from exercising. Though I have often said that I fear failure, I can't struggle with failure because my inactivity guarantees it. More likely, it is a fear of trying really hard and falling flat on my face. I cope alright with failure when I have decided not to try (it becomes a technicality) - but the vulnerability required for wanting something so badly and pursuing it with reckless abandon with the possibility of absolute and utter failure has never seemed appealing. But I am tired of all this.
I can go around and around trying to analyze why I do what I do. I can hash out memories, dig out old wounds, talk about self-sabotage or why I have a hard time accepting myself as I am, or try to figure out "why the color yellow makes me sad" (there is a time a place for that). Or I can just do it and figure out life on the journey.
So here's to not over thinking life. Knowledge does not bring change, wisdom does. Even if I know why I do something that frustrates my goals, that knowledge does not bring change. Changing does.
So with the words of the great Yoda behind me, I will exercise, "Do or do not, there is no try".
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
- I have a better idea of why I feel like crap some mornings (eating fatty meals/snacks before bed makes for quite a blood sugar graph and lets me know why I feel like I didn't sleep at all).
- I am using less insulin. A) I am more conscious of what I eat and how often I snack, and B) I am catching high blood sugars before they are completely out of whack.
- Discrete. I was performing at a cafe and though I wanted to know where my blood sugar was hovering during the show, I didn't have to test - I just checked the Dex. Super discrete.
- One more thing to carry around. Meter, pump, Dexcom, phone. I am ready for the CGM to integrate with a pump so that the screen of the pump shows the CGM stuff.
- It's not perfect. I got a low alarm (ideally goes off when I hit 70) when my blood sugar was 98 (always verified with the meter before treating) and then I got a low alarm (70) when my meter read 56. youch.
- Um, . . . yeah, those are all the cons I have right now.
The beauty is that Dexcom has just announced the release of their Gen4 version (more accurate, transmits to a farther distance to the receiver, and includes a cute color screen on a smaller receiver). Since I ordered mine in September I am eligible for a free upgrade - sweet!
So I look forward to a more proactive life with Dex, and seeing how the next generation of diabetes treatment technology advances - hopefully towards simplicity of weaving life with Diabetes into real living.
Monday, October 1, 2012
A tradition has been started by Mr. Ninjabetic Himself about having a day where you post about something other than diabetes. And although I haven't been at this very long, I too, shall participate.
Somebody dropped them off on our road in July of 2009. I couldn't say 'no' to them and my husband couldn't say 'no' to me. Thus, our adventure as a two-cat household began.
Bitey and Pokey: Wrastlemania
Maxin' and relaxin'
And, 3 years later, this is what happens to city cats when they get domesticized. They get very fluffy and will do anything for a belly rub. Even while SOMEONE is trying to study. They have very little regard for education.
Happy "No D Day" to you!