Tuesday, May 14, 2013

4th Annual Diabetes Blog Week - We, The Undersigned

Recently various petitions have been circulating the Diabetes Online Community, so today let’s pretend to write our own. Tell us who you would write the petition to – a person, an organization, even an object (animate or inanimate) - get creative!! What are you trying to change and what have you experienced that makes you want this change?

We, the undersigned, petition carbs of all shapes and sizes to present themselves in an orderly fashion before each and every moment of consumption.

Please organize yourselves to be easily counted, in all your solid, liquid, and invisible forms.

A simple sign, announcement, or short musical number would suffice.

When you cloak yourself in secret family recipes that hide sweetened condensed milk into potato salad, when you blend sugar into usually carb-friendly deviled eggs, or create a candied taco salad, you literally get on my nerves, make my eyes hurt, and wear me out.

We have spent 10 years together and I have tried my best to understand you.  In turn, you have tried my patience.  If you could get to know me and my insulin needs - it would be ever-so-kind of you to give me a heads up of how complicated you really are. 

"Hey, just so ya know. . . I gotta extra cup of sugar in this here salad dressing - so you might as well just go for the pie instead."

"We talked it over, and this whole plate's got 60g of carb, but that squash has a pound of lard - so take 6 units now and stretch out another 4 units over the next four hours and you'll be good." 

I would also accept a note of "You'll regret this" or "You just got screwed" so that I can at least play catch-up with your wicked games.

I petition you, Carbohydrates to be forthcoming with your stats, honest with your fiber and transparent with your fat. 

If we can't work this out, I think we'll have to break up.

No comments:

Post a Comment